i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
