First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Panties = found
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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