So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
