You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
