She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
