using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
