My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
