kristin has been a bad kristin
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
