p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
