She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
