We're like a lot better than the average bears
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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