he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
