This is not my ceiling
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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