we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
