I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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