a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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