i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Randomize
