I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
