THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
