Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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