I hate your face
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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