Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
