I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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