Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
