i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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