i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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