Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
