she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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