I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
