i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
