No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
