You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
