take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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