Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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