Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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