she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
