we have pet lesbian snakes
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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