We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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