The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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