just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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