yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
