maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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