i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
