Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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