just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
