The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
