Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
