Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
