all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
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