You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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